it's been a really really messed up week
by xIrelandx
Summary: AU: Dave, John, Jade, and Rose are about to start on their first year of college. They can tell already: it's going to be one hell of a bumpy ride. Pt 1 of Young Volcanoes. Co-written with ab2fsycho.
1. Chapter 1

Of course they picked the hottest day of the year for the freshman to move in. Dave was used to the heat - he lived in Texas, after all, before applying to this godforsaken school. He's faring okay, but his roommate? Not so much. Some part of him is worried that Egbert (what a dumb name, but he's got plans to make it ironically cool, he can't have a lame roommate) is going to pass out from heat exhaustion. Maybe the kid should have thought to wear a hat - his dad is, after all.

"Yo, Mr. Egbert. Long time, no see." Dave doesn't bother looking at his bro, he just rolls his eyes. Apparently, Dirk knew Mr. Egbert from a long time ago. Mr. Egbert was his teacher, or something to that effect. He hasn't shut up about how cool it is that Dave is rooming with the man's son, and some part of Dave wants to tell his bro to just suck it already. It's only been five minutes, but Dave is ready to puke from the desperation his brother is putting off.

"Dirk," Mr. Egbert says kindly. "It has been a long time, hasn't it?"

In the midst of rolling his own eyes, Dave can see that John's are rolling too. Dave smirks unintentionally, appreciating that he's not the only sane man around. But then John looks startled by the sign of acknowledgement, and Dave is disappointed. He's not gonna be one of those kids, is he?

John busies himself with removing bags and boxes from his dad's car. Well, they weren't boxes so much as laundry baskets and rubbermade tubs filled with various valuables. John might feel as though he packed a little too much, but his luggage portion is actually relatively small compared to some students' on their first day.

One such student would be Jade, who has parked her car beside Mr. Egbert's and is also pulling her own bags and materials from the trunk. Jade's organization is a lot better than John's. They'd packed side-by-side, and while John had simply stuffed and forced his possessions to fit wherever he deemed necessary Jade had folded packed her things neatly in just as much time.

As John lifts one light tub, Dirk and Mr. Egbert catching up with one another, Jade stops beside him and whispers, "You didn't pack the posters did you?"

John is too hot to blanche at the thought. That's right. He had packed them when she wasn't looking. Then again, what did she honestly expect when the walls of his room had been emptier than the day before? "I did."

Jade does not chastise him. She simply shakes her head smirks at him like he is a dog who's shredded a roll of toilet paper, which was something that their dog never did oddly. Jade is under the impression that the posters he collected bore content that he should be embarrassed to display. Apparently Con-Air is not a movie worthy of appreciation. John disagrees, though, and Jade is still learning to accept that. She does not point out his odd choices of movies so much as express concern over his taste. He really sees nothing wrong with his taste.

One of the posters slips from John's grasp, tumbling from its perfect roll onto the pavement. Feeling nosey, Dave makes a grab for it, rolling it out in all its pasty glory. "Con Air?" he asks. The girl - Jade, he thinks her name is - covers her face in her hands. John doesn't look the least bit embarrassed. "Isn't this one of those movies with Jackass Cage in it?"

"Language, Dave," Dirk reprimands. Dave rolls his eyes again. Bro doesn't bother to tell him off when they're at home. Unless Dave touches something that belongs to Dirk, he can get away with pretty much anything. Bro's just trying to appear parental now so he can impress Mr. Egbert. It's a huge waste of time, as far as Dave is concerned. The man is at least a decade older, and is looking at Dirk with amusement moreso than arousal. As far as Dave is concerned, what Dirk really needs is a new hobby. One that doesn't involve overflowing their tiny apartment with puppet ass and shitty weapons.

John doesn't look startled this time when he reaches for the poster, and Dave hands it back without anymore teasing involved. Another car rolls up to where they are - a fancy contraption, with rather pissy-looking passengers. Dave sticks one hand in his pocket, watching the mother-and-daughter pair snap at each other a bit more before the sullen teen with the dark lipstick steps out, slamming the door behind her. She turns to John with a big smile. "I was hoping I'd see you here."

"Where else would I be?" John asks with a grin equal to the teen's.

Jade pauses in unloading and walks over to the newcomer. "You must be Rose. Hi, I'm Jade." John sees that Jade is anxious to meet her roommate slash not-quite step-sister. The order of events sometimes confuses John, seeing as Jade had not entered the picture until after Rose's mom and John's dad had divorced amicably. Somehow, the strange relations didn't seem so strange to Jade and she was just eager to get to know who she'd be spending the year living with. While Rose did seem aloof at first, which was normal to John but perhaps not to others, she greets Jade about as warmly as she is capable of. He thinks they'll get all just fine.

Glancing over at the adults (well, technically they were adults now too but John still had a hard time remembering that), he sees that Roxy Lalonde has joined in the conversation with Dirk Strider and his dad. John's gaze lingers on Dirk for a bit longer than he intends as the man communicates pleasantly with Roxy and Mr. Egbert. Shaking his head, he proceeds with moving his things indoors.

Unloading and moving into the dormitory brings a sheen of sweat to John's forehead that makes him want to jump in the shower as soon as possible. Once the last of his things are inside, he goes to help Jade. Apparently Jade is just as efficient at unloading as she was at packing because she is done as well and standing with Dad, Rose's mom, and Dave's bro. Rose is standing with her, having their own conversation as Dave stands opposite with his arms folded similarly to Dirk.

As John moves to join them, he is suddenly knocked to the ground by someone he hadn't even heard running past him. There is a slamming of bodies, a loud honk, and an outcry of both individuals before they both found themselves on the concrete sidewalk.

"I'm sorry, man," the other guy says almost drunkenly, sitting up before John thinks himself able to do the same. "I didn't see you there-."

The individual is cut off when John sees his face and lets out the most pitiful combination of a scream and a gasp he could have possibly mustered.

He most certainly was not expecting that face to be coupled with that voice

Dave looks over to his new roommate, startled by the sound of the high-pitched squeal. Sprawled on the ground not far from John Egbert is...well, Dave guesses the kid qualifies as a human, but there's so much KISS-styled makeup on his face that it's difficult to tell if he (Dave thinks it's a he, anyway) is a human or some other sort of creature. A troll, maybe?

"Gamzee! The f- Hell are you doin' here?" Dave's eyebrows disappear into his head. His brother knows a Juggalo? College must have been a difficult time for poor Dirk, Dave reasons. No Strider associates with Insane Clown Pissheads. Dirk, for his part, is biting his lip real hard in an attempt to keep from swearing at his brother, however non-related he may be. Dad catches the slip-up, allowing a slight frown. He's embarrassed to see the younger man has not given up on his obsession with all things clown-related - nor has he begun to remember the omni-present collection of horns he carries around with him.

After straightening himself up, Gamzee gives the gentleman a onceover in an attempt to remember exactly who it is he's conversing with. It doesn't take long, primarily because no one else ever perfected the art of wearing such large and pointy sunglasses while still looking totally cool. Gamzee's smile widens in recognition. "Bro!" The young man embraces the older man in a tight, uncomfortable hug before he exclaims, "Long time no see, motherfucker!" He glances over at the other still older gentleman, whose frown continues to deepen. Probably the language Gamzee was accustomed to using. Releasing Dirk, he clears his throat and adds, "My apologies fellow friends. I tend to get easily excited over certain things. There's just so much to see and so many beautiful things happening all at once. I often forget what has even come out of my mouth." Then Gamzee lights up as he notices the seemingly younger version of Dirk Strider and says, "Is this the little bro? Is he as cool as you yet, or is he still in the making?"

John stands, unsure of this new member of the group. He must admit, he is taken completely offguard by the heavy makeup. He had never seen anyone like this guy before, and there was a lilt to the madeup teen's voice that made him sound intoxicated. John could pick up on an unfamiliar scent coming off of this Gamzee fellow's clothing, and John wasn't even standing all that close to him. He decides he doesn't want to know what the scent is and instead listens to the conversation that follows.

"Still in the making, but still cooler than you, Makara." Bro doesn't seem overly fond of this new member – a fraternity brother, though they only met recently when Dirk came back to visit. "I'm surprised they haven't thrown you out yet."

Even though Dirk is the one speaking, Gamzee can't take his eyes off of John's dad. Dave follows the bizarre circle of looks before turning to his new roommate. John shrugs in return, palms facing upward.

"My apologies for not attending the latest soiree," Mr. Egbert says. He reaches one hand out for the Gamzee kid-troll to shake, though discomfort is radiating off of him. "I'm Mr. Egbert. Although since we are brothers in a fraternal sense, I suppose you may call me James." Gamzee takes the hand gently, still looking at the adult with reverence.

"You never let me call you James," Dirk complains. James glowers at young adult, but offers no answer.

"I know who you are, Mr. James," Gamzee's mouth is slightly ajar. Is it Dave's imagination, or are his teeth kinda pointy? "You're totally famous for all those pranky stunts and –" he whispers, "juggling."

Dave thinks he might vomit.

* * *

Vriska is sniping at him again. She's always doing this, so Tavros decides to just tune her out and watch the freshmen unpack. They're all so tiny –

Vriska's stopped talking for a moment, and stopped walking. Tavros cringes at the idea that she's caught him ignoring her, and is relieved to see she's just tying her re-tying her shoes. He takes the opportunity to observe the gaggle of students and parents standing around their cars, talking. He sees their brother Gamzee is with them, messing around with one of his infernal horns. He's about to tell Vriska when one of the kids catches his eyes.

"Jesus, I thought we got rid of all those fucking horns," Vriska gripes. She puts her hands on Tavros's wheelchair, ready to direct them over, until she sees the look on his face. She tries to follow his gaze, and thinks she knows who he's become twitterpated with. "You gotta stop staring before we head over there. You'll freak her out. Just play it cool."

"I, uh," Tavros blushes and ducks his head. "What if I, uh, go find Kanaya, instead, maybe?"

"What?" Vriska belts. The kids he's been observing are staring at them now, startled by his companion's sudden shouting.

"Vriska, please –"

"No," she snaps, although she quiets down some. "You've seen a cute girl, and you are going to start a conversation with her!"

"What do I even say? I can't just barge in and –"

Vriska didn't always think her plans through. She was the opposite of most of their fraternity in that way. Vriska believed in action no matter what, which meant that she frequently found herself in trouble. Or, as in this case, left other people in trouble under the belief that she was helping them.

Tavros just hoped she wouldn't try this again. 'This' being tipping his chair over so he fell out and running off in the opposite direction.

A few members of the group shout various exclamations as they rush to help the man now lying face down on the ground. By the time they reach him he is already sitting up, his face almost completely red. Gamzee is the first to ask, "Dude, what happened?"

Before Tavros can speak, James says, "That young lady just tipped him out of his chair."

"Should we stop her?" Jade asked.

"No, um, she was just, uhh—," Tavros couldn't finish the sentence if he wanted to. He wonders if it's physically possible for blushes to choke someone, because it feels like his is doing just that.

"What for? Were you tuning her out again?" Gamzee asked. "Man, you gotta be careful with her."

"Yes. No, um, she was just trying to help—"

"If that's what she calls helping, I hope I never have to see what she looks like when she's mad," Jade said, irritated by the other woman. Turning back to Tavros, she asks, "Can I help you? Do you need help? What can I do?"

He had to come up with something to say or else he was going to wind up staring at her until he died. God, she seems about as nice as she looks and she's tall and pretty - focus Tavros. What would Rufio do? "Um, could you—," spit it out, Tavros, "—maybe, could you maybe just, hold my chair in place so I can, you know—?"

"Absolutely," Jade says, moving behind him and readying his overturned wheelchair. "I'm Jade, by the way."

"T-Tavros," was the only thing he could muster in response.

"You sure that's all you need, man?" Gamzee asks, offering to help Tavros up even more.

"I've got it," Tavros says, straightening up as he prepares to pull himself into his chair again.

"Perhaps the young man has had enough help for one day," Rose's mom interjects.

You could say that again, Tavros thinks as he pulls himself upward and situates himself back in his wheelchair. After a moment, he sighs and looks at Gamzee. He tries very hard not to hone in on the fact that the prettiest girl he has ever seen was holding the handlebars of his wheelchair. "Have you, um, asked them yet?"

"What?" Gamzee asks.

The hairs on the back of Tavros's neck are starting to rise and he's shaking. "About recruitment?" Oh my God, Gamzee, now is not the time for you to be staring off into space and acting high. Help me out here. Because Tavros would give anything not to have the attention on him.

A light bulb goes off in Gamzee's eyes. "Right, that is a thing that needs to happen," he says. And before, Tavros had mistakenly thought that Gamzee could not sound higher. Boy, was he wrong. At least the attention is no longer solely on him as Gamzee explains, "Sadly, we have lost many of our brothers to graduation and other unfortunate events. We have some transfers currently moving in now, but we need just a couple more members in order to maintain our fraternity status on campus. It just so happens that we have four legacies in our most immaculate presence right now, to whom we wish to extend a most humble invitation." Once again, Gamzee has exceeded Tavros's expectations when it comes to sounding high. He actually had to face-palm at that explanation.

John asks, "Is she a brother?" He points down the street down which Vriska escaped.

Gamzee nods as Tavros adds, "She really does have everyone's best interests at heart, but, uhh, has a strange way of showing it."

"Clearly," Ms. Lalonde says. "I don't believe I saw her at your get-together last month?"

"That motherfu- er, young lady person, is a transfer student," Gamzee supplies. "And Tavros was most correct. She might seem like an evil spider queen, but Vriska means well."

"If you say so," Jade murmurs. Tavros shivers pleasantly. A pretty girl is pushing his wheelchair, leading him and the rest of the gang back to the cars.

"I, uh," Tavros begins. He's trying not to get too flustered by Jade's presence. He focuses on the other girl in the group, the one with the goth look. "I don't think I caught your, uh, names?"

"I'm Rose," the other girl says cooly. She doesn't seem mad, so much as like she's hiding something. There's a small smile like a smirk on her face.

Tavros redirects his head to the lighter-haired boy. And lord, he could be Rose's brother, they look so much alike. The kid jerks his head up once. "Sup. I'm Dave Strider."

"And I'm John," the final kid offers. He's got his hands behind his back and is bouncing on the balls of his feet. "I'm Mr. Egbert – uh, James's son."

"Dirk's my bro," Dave says, pointing at the taller Strider, who gives Tavros a salute.

"And I'm Roxy," Ms. Lalonde stretches her arm out to shake Tavros's hand. "I'm Rose's mother."

Rose rolls her eyes. "Come on, Jade," she links one arm with Jade's. "Let's go set up our room."

Jade frowns. "But Tavros –"

"It's cool man, I can take over from here." Tavros's heart sinks a bit as Gamzee takes over for Jade.

"I guess I'll, uh, see you later?" He hopes he doesn't sound too desperate. Jade looks over her shoulder to nod and smile as Rose drags her inside.

Roxy shakes her head. "I apologize for my daughter's rude behavior. She can be so moody sometimes."

"If by sometimes, you mean all the time," John said.

"John!" Mr. Egbert scolded.

"I'm sorry," he frowned. "I love Rose like a sister, but that was rude! You don't treat friends, or like, potential friends like that."

Before the two girls reach the door, Tavros manages to strangle out, "Well, if you're interested, you could, um, come to open house—"

"Yeah, come to open house!" Gamzee interrupts Tavros, proceeding to rattle off details and such. Good. Tavros might get to see Jade again. His cheeks flushed once more at the notion. "In the meantime," Gamzee's voice brings Tavros out of his fantasy, "continue apace. It's too hot out here—"

"Wouldn't want your face to melt off," Dave says. James is not so thrilled by the interruption, but Dirk has to fight a smile and gives Dave a barely noticeable thumbs-up.

Gamzee, however, stares at Dave like he'd just spoken the word of the Lord. "Truth, brother. Truth. One requires certain cool facilities to maintain the visage of the holy prophets." Dave sincerely hoped Gamzee was not like this sober.

"Better keep unpacking," John says before the juggalo can add anymore.

"Let's hope there isn't a third crash involved," James adds. John, Dave, and Dirk nod in agreement.


	2. Chapter 2

"Welcome new shitheads. This is the motherfucking fraternity house. Congratulations, you've managed to find the most incompetent group of man flesh on this fucking tiny ass campus. Help yourself to the goddamn beverages before they're spiked by certain high-ass individual. In case you don't know who the fuck that asshole is, listen for the honks."

As the fellow student speaks, John is steadily trying to figure out how someone so short can be so loud. Before he can say anything, Dave beats him to the punch. "Are you a cheerleader? Cuz I think they could hear you in the stadium. On second thought, you might wanna yell louder to make sure."

That did not sit well with the young man, who puffed out his chest before proceeding to yell, "Look here you shitstain. So long as you're in this house, I am your fucking god. Show some respect to your boss ass creator you goddamn piece of—"

"You're half my size. How can you be my god?" Dave antagonizes.

"Fuck you—"

"Alright, that's enough out of you," a young woman interrupts, coming to stand between Dave and the shouting individual. She gestures to him and says, "Karkat Vantas, everyone."

"I can tell I'm not gonna like you—," Karkat growls before the woman pushes him out of the conversation (literally).

Once he's out of the picture, she straightens up and introduces herself, "I'm Kanaya Maryam."

The four introduce themselves, making sure Karkat is out of earshot before Jade asks, "Is he always like that?"

"I'm afraid so, even to the people that he really likes. It's his weird way of showing affection."

From the other room, they could hear him screaming, "No it fucking isn't!"

Kanya just rolls her eyes and says, "Come on. Let me introduce you to everyone."

The fraternity house is a little dingy and, for the most part, empty. Jade, John, Rose and Dave were the only freshmen to show up to the open house, although plenty of other, older students are milling around. Rose watches Kanaya intently as the sophomore sneers at the thin layer of dust on the shelves lining the wall. The older girl's fingers are twitching. OCD, maybe, Rose thinks. Or perhaps Kanaya is simply a neat freak.

"There are six rooms on the first floor, and six rooms on the second. Each floor has its own bathroom, assuming the guys upstairs haven't clogged it." Dave makes a sound like a snort, and Rose leans back ever so slightly to elbow him. John covers his mouth to suppress a smirk. "Our kitchen is – Oh god. Zahhak!" A young man with long black hair and broken sunglasses stands, shirtless, in front of the fridge. Drinking milk right from the carton.

Zahhak rubs the back of his head, but doesn't look all that embarrassed by being caught off guard half-naked in the kitchen. "Sup, Maryam. Who are your friends?"

"These," she gestures to the students behind her, "are new recruits. At least I hope they still are, after this display." Through ground teeth, Kanaya manages to smile still. She turns back to the four, the only visible sign of her anger at her brother the furrow of her brow. "Please allow me to introduce Equius Zahhak. Don't worry, that's just the soy milk he's drinking."

"Soy milk?" Dave looks somewhere between indignant and personally offended. "What are you, a fucking hipster?"

Equius must dislike the accusation quite a bit. The hand holding the milk carton turns into a fist, his thumb punctures through the weak paper of the carton, and milk goes everywhere. Equius flinches a bit, surprised by his own strength. Kanaya groans. "Here, let me –"

"Not a fucking problem, Kan. I got this motherfucking spillage on my radar, and I will clean it up something fierce." A familiar mop of black hair slides into the kitchen. Gamzee looks up, and a smile breaks out on his face. "What is up my fine motherfuckers?"

"I take it you've met Gamzee Makara?" The four nod, Dave inching back a bit to keep his distance from the painted clown. More quietly, Kanaya says to Gamzee, "Please refrain from referring to the freshmen as motherfuckers."

"Oh shit, my bad."

"And Equius, please put some clothes on." Equius nods, and the group retreats from the kitchen.

As Kanaya leads them into the living room where some snacks were set up on a table in the corner, a sour-faced individual bumps shoulders with Jade on his way out of the room. He doesn't stop to apologize and actually brushed his shoulder like Jade had tainted his person. "Ugh," she gasps out. "You have a surplus of rude people living here!"

"That was Eridan Ampora, Equius's roommate. He's ... we don't really know what his deal is. At least he didn't hit on you," Kanaya assures her.

"Which is one of the creepiest experiences you may ever face in this lifetime," a familiar voice calls out from the couch. Vriska is sitting down, one leg thrown over the arm of the couch.

A posh-looking woman is sitting politely in a chair across from Vriska, glowering at the other female. "He isn't that bad," the woman defends the man who's just made a not-so-good first impression.

"Oh, wouldn't you be the expert?" Vriska quips. This only succeeds in making the other woman glare even more.

"This is Vriska Serket and Feferi Peixes," Kanaya interrupts.

Feferi all but jumps at the opportunity to speak to anyone not Vriska. "Hi!" she says, her demeanor changing entirely. "We're the transfers. Well, the two of us," she glares at Vriska momentarily, "and Eridan. There are six of us. I heard you meet Equius. I don't think you've met—"

"The great cat stalks the newcomers from around the corner, gaining a purrfect line of view," comes a voice from upstairs, drawing the others' attention to the individual speaking in third person. They can just barely see a pair of blue cat ears (how on earth was the person poised?) at the top of the stairs.

Equius then moves past the blue-eared narrator, now fully clothed and muttering, "No roleplaying today, Nepeta. We have guests."

As he comes down the stairs, a small young woman slides down the steps on her rear close behind him. "Awwww, no fair! I was gonna surprise them!"

"You can't surprise people when you're narrating the fact you're stalking them," he retorts. Nepeta sits at the bottom of the steps, folding her arms and pouting at him. He's twice her size, but it is almost painfully obvious how disarming her pouts are to him.

"Come on, Nep. Don't give me that look," he begs. "If I can't drink my soy milk in peace, then you can't stalk in peace."

Nepeta huffs. "That's just not furr," she complains. "You know TZ's going to be cross-examining everyone. No one's going to try and stop her!"

John imagines that, behind the dark glasses, Equius is rolling his eyes. Or maybe he sees them roll through the cracks. "Terezi gets away with a lot of things. Probably because of her special ability."

"You mean the fact that she's blind?" Nepeta's response isn't sarcastic in the least - it's a genuine question for her much taller friend.

Equius seems to avoid answering the question, nervously avoiding Nepeta's eyes as he mutters a confirmation. Kanaya has no issue, though, correcting her. "I think the special ability to which he is referring is that she can get our president to do whatever she wants him to do."

There's a barely visible flicker on the cat-girl's face as she mouths the word 'oh.' Rose logs it away as useful information. "President?" she asks.

"Yes, you met him earlier. Karkat Vantas."

Dave lets out a legitimate, full laugh this time. "Are you fucking kidding me? That half-pint is your president?"

"I heard that!" a shout comes from the room next door.

"Stop eavesdropping then!" Kanaya shouts back.

Since none of the other brothers are present at the time, the four are invited to have some snacks. Jade, John, Dave, and Rose each help themselves to some of the chips and dip along with a couple cookies. John is leaving over to get some punch when he hears a noise he couldn't quite identify. The unnerving part is not that the noise occurred, it is that it occurred right behind his ear. It sounded vaguely like someone was sniffing him. When he turns to find the source of the noise, however, he is startled to see that no one is there.

Jade and Rose each experience similar occurrences, but it isn't until it happens to Dave that they catch a glimpse of the culprit. "Hmm," says the girl in red glasses as she scratches her chin and leans into Dave's scent. "This one's cool. I like him." John can't help but think that for somebody who is allegedly blind, Terezi knows how to get around perfectly fine without being detected and without the help of a cane. He can only assume that she knows the house very well. Judging by the fact that she manages to throw a pillow perfectly square in his face, he guesses that she's only partially blind. "That one's a first class dork. Karkles will love him."

"No!" Karkat proceeds to come crashing down the hall towards Terezi. "No! You are not laying claim to the asshats!"

"Oh, I think our Karkles is already enjoying their company," Terezi declares. She turns to Jade and whispers, "Isn't he adorable when he's angry?"

"Which is all the time," Vriska grumbles.

"Shut up! All of you shut up!" He leaves the room again, this time grumbling as he goes, "I am NOT adorable! I am terrifying!"

When the attention of the room is back on Terezi, she is staring at Rose and asks, "You're just a hot mess, aren't you?"

Rose is about to snark back at Terezi when Kanaya says, "Well I think you just about met everybody I can think of—"

"We're missing Tavros and the lispy asthmatic," Vriska gripes.

"Oh that's right, Sollux. Wait, he moved in? When?" Kanaya asks.

"At night, when only Eridan is awake," Feferi clarifies.

Vriska snorts, "So at 2 o'clock in the morning."

"Oh, where is Tavros?" Jade asks, perking up.

"Hiding in Sollux's room with him," Terezi says.

Vriska jumps up at that, suddenly very excited. "I'll go get him for you!"

"No, that's okay, I can just—," Jade starts, but Vriska is already on her way.

"You said there were six transfers," Dave says. "We're short one."

"Oh, she hasn't moved in yet. She was supposed to move in with the rest of us, but she seems to move on her own time," Feferi declares. She lights up at a thought, and says, "Perhaps Equius knows when—"

"I know nothing," he responds, a note of bitterness in his voice.

Dave raises an eyebrow at Equius's snappy tone. "What, this chick dumb your ass?"

Jade reaches out and punches Dave quickly in the arm. He's surprised at the move, and a little impressed. Over the past few days, he's gotten to know Jade a little better - hers and Rose's room is right across the hall from his and John's. But from everything he's seen, she's a good girl, very innocent and naive.

Jade blushes at herself a bit, but refrains from apologizing. She even seems to be biting her lip to hold it in. Kanaya's glaring at Dave, opening her mouth and getting ready to let into him for his rudeness when Equius pushes her out of the way. "You wanna fucking say that again, shrimp?"

"Oh pipe down, hot head." A white stick slams into the side of Equius's head, knocking the stupid broken glasses from his face. John takes a step back, clutching his paper plate of snacks to his chest. Wait, where was she keeping that? How'd he not see her bring the stick in?

"Te-rawr-zi!" The cat-clothed girl, Nepeta, reappears behind Terezi, like a bizarre kind of conga line. Terezi drapes a free arm around Nepeta's shoulders. The shorter girl pouts, arms crossed. "Don't te-rawr-ize Equius! He's had a ruff couple of days, moving in and all!"

"Oh please," Terezi bumps her hip into Nepeta's and leans both hands on her cane. "We've all been moving in. That's no reason to be a dickhead to freshies." Equius kneels down to retrieve his glasses, wiping them off and walking away while mumbling something about a towel.

"So, Dave," Terezi begins. She never gets the chance to finish her sentence as three men - Karkat, Tavros, and a lanky teen with a slight overbite - tromp into the the room, Karkat and the nameless one bickering. Terezi turns her head to see their blurs coming at them. "Wow Karkat, don't sneak up on a girl like that!" She grins toothily, reminding John of a dragon. "You could announce your presence somehow - clearing your throat maybe, or talking loudly -"

"Oh shut up." Karkat crosses his arms over his chest and ducks his head as Terezi reaches over to ruffle his hair.

"Aren't they adorable?" Vriska comes bouncing down the stairs, a red Solo cup in hand. Wait, if Tavros is downstairs, how was she—?

John gives up. These people can't be human. They move too fast for him to keep up with them.

"No -"

Karkat is cut off again. "Yeah," Sollux agreed. "They're tho prethious. They thould jutht get married already."

Karkat blushes and breaks away, hands now over his head to protect his hair from Terezi's grabbing hands. "You're all so fucking annoying," he grumbles. He kicks open the fridge and snatches around for a Diet Coke. He has to crouch down to reach his prize. Terezi's head follows his movements, and If Dave didn't know better, he'd think Terezi was scoping out Karkat's ass. He must not be the only one to think so; Vriska nudges Terezi harshly and waggles her eyebrows.

As if no interruption has occurred, Terezi swings the cane behind her neck and plops herself on Karkat's lap, knees over the arms of the couch. "Ah, don't lie to yourself, Kar. You know you love me."

Karkat looks torn. On the one hand, he looks like he wants to shove Terezi off of him. On the other, he looks like he likes it but doesn't know how to enjoy something. John would have commented had he not caught sight of Vriska, drilling her fingers on the sides of her Solo cup and staring rather intently at Jade. Jade is now in quiet conversation with Tavros, who is stammering about as much as the day they'd met. Jade must be relieved to be talking to someone not rude for once, but John is more concerned about Vriska's intentions.

A smile spreads across the woman's blue tinted lips and John realizes she's now watching him. He flusters when she asks, no, tells him, "You should grow your hair out."

Before John can respond, Karkat growls out, "Has Tavros found someone as special as him?"

Once again, before John can say anything, Terezi hits him on the head with her cane. "Shhh," she cooed as he rubs his head. "Watch the young and rare Tavros as he struggles through the difficulties of courtship."

John looks over at Jade and Tavros and is thankful they are blissfully unaware of what is transpiring around them. Vriska resumes watching them, looking as though she is plotting something when they hear the front door open and close.

Karkat looks torn. On the one hand, he looks like he wants to shove Terezi off of him. On the other, he looks like he likes it but doesn't know how to enjoy something. John would have commented had he not caught sight of Vriska, drilling her fingers on the sides of her Solo cup and staring rather intently at Jade. Jade is now in quiet conversation with Tavros, who is stammering about as much as the day they'd met. Jade must be relieved to be talking to someone not rude for once, but John is more concerned about Vriska's intentions.

A smile spreads across the woman's blue tinted lips and John realizes she's now watching him. He flusters when she asks, no, tells him, "You should grow your hair out."

Before John can respond, Karkat growls out, "Has Tavros found someone as special as him?"

Once again, before John can say anything, Terezi hits him on the head with her cane. "Shhh," she cooed as he rubs his head. "Watch the young and rare Tavros as he struggles through the difficulties of courtship."

John looks over at Jade and Tavros and is thankful they are blissfully unaware of what is transpiring around them. Vriska resumes watching them, looking as though she is plotting something when they hear the front door open and close.

"Who the fuck is that?" Karkat grumbles. Terezi hushes him, refusing to move from his lap to let him inspect their newest arrival. Sollux rolls his eyes and stands.

"Gueth I'll get it, then."

"I'll come with you!" John offers. Sollux raises an eyebrow. It's not entirely necessary for John to escort him, but then maybe he's just trying to avoid another whack from Terezi's cane.

"Thure, dude, whatever you want."

There's a bit of shouting coming from upstairs, and John wonders who's up there. Something strong and pungent wafts its way downstairs. Must be Gamzee, John reckons. But who's he shouting at?

Sollux stops in his tracks, and starts to walk backwards. He hits the start of the staircase, glares at the unseen Gamzee, and shouts, "Hey pothead! Keep it down, will you? I don't wanna get another thitation becauthe of your thtupid ath."

"MIRACLES, YO!" Gamzee shouts down. He giggles maniacally. Sollux sighs deeply.

"He keepth forgetting that I have athma," he's not looking at John while he talks, and for a moment John has forgotten to follow. He trots to keep up. "He altho keepth forgetting that he'th NOT ALLOWED ON THE TOP FLOOR!"

The last comment, although not directed at John, piques the freshman's interest. He takes a moment to contemplate whether he wants to know about it or not. He decides to ask anyway, if for no other reason than to keep the conversation going. "Uhm, why isn't Gamzee allowed on the top floor?"

It's difficult to tell if Sollux is actually looking at him through those dark-tinted glasses. He turns his head in John's direction. "Pot doeth thtrange thingth to a man'th head. Maketh him think thingth. Like that he can fly."

John blinks, wondering if this is some sort of joke. If it is, then Sollux doesn't wait for him to reach the punchline. He peeks his head around the corner, and something in his demeanour shifts. His whole body language changes, becoming more fluid and languid. "Aradia?"

A tall and shapely girl with dark, wavy hair turns around the corner. She is, easily, the prettiest girl John has ever seen - and far taller than both Sollux and himself. Her eyes and lips are rimmed in red, exaggerating her features as she smiles at the pair. "Sollux! It's been so long!" She embraces him tightly, the hug lasting longer than ten seconds. Either they're related, or they're dating, John reasons. The newcomer, Aradia, releases Sollux and turns to John. "Are you one of the transfers?" She offers her hand for him to shake.

John shakes it firmly. "No, actually, I'm a freshman."

"Oh, that's right - It's open house now, isn't it? Excuse me -"

Aradia slides past John and Sollux, who's now rubbing the back of his head. "Thith ith gonna be interethting."

Suddenly there is a loud noise like a window opening and a series of strange honks and everyone's attention is pulled upstairs. Even Equius stops sulking in the doorway at Aradia long enough to realize something is amiss. His whole demeanor changes as it dawns on him what is up. "Shit! Gamzee!" And just like that, he bolts upstairs.

"Dammit, what did I thay about not being allowed upthtairth!?" Sollux shouts as he and Karkat, who's managed to escape Terezi's affections, follow.

All John hears from Gamzee after that is, "Motherfuckin' MIRACLES!"

As the older brothers gather to try and control their resident junkie, John is startled when Dave leans over and asks, "What do you think of these idiots? Think they're worth a shot?"

John thinks for a moment, then shrugs. "There'll never be a dull moment, that's for sure."

Dave's brows furrow. "You're planning on sticking around?"

"Sure. Why not? I kinda like it here?"

Dave almost looks disappointed, which has a strange effect on John's innards. The unease grows until Dave says, "Well whataya say we be the ones to spike the punch? Beat the juggalo to it?"

"With what?" John asks. Then Dave procures some clear alcohol seemingly out of nowhere and John gasps out, "Where'd you get that?"

"Chillax! It's Rose's."

"Where'd she get that?"

"Fucked if I know. Let's just have some fun and watch the fireworks, since you think there's a remote possibility of garnering some entertainment from this." John doesn't respond, or rather doesn't realize he's responding until he catches his own head nodding. Dave smirks. "We'll make a cool dude outta you yet. Cover me."

John merely follows. Yes. It's going to be interesting indeed.


End file.
